Alex Melohne

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Alex Melohne

Post by masvvevemanboy on 10/2/2015, 7:24 pm







Name:Alex Melohne
Gender:Male
Mortal Parent:Jane Melohne
God Parent:Apollo
Date of Birth:2/20/96
Place of Birth: USA
Hometown/Last Residence:Aberdeen,Washington
Race/ethnicity:White
Accent:American
Skin Tone:Tan
Eye Color:Brown
Hair Color:Brown
Hair Length:Just above eyebrows (Is there an exact number?)
Height:5'11"
Weight:123 pounds
Body Type:Slim, but with abs-Healthy
Appearance:Punk-ish,and flowing brown hair?
Weapon:He has a guitar that the neck turns into a axe, which he gotten from Apollo as a godly gift, the axe part of it is celestial bronze. NOTE:The guitar is playable.
Armor:Black leather armor with a hood.
Pet(s):None
Skills/Talents:Play only play instruments that are in the rock genre. EX:Drums, Guitars, Bass, etc,he had practiced and was in a band a lot of times,he is unique with them, he can play any rock song with them, can make milk come from nose?
Flaws:Being a klutz,Lack of self-confidence,Laziness,skin needs to be less dry,Brutal honesty
Strengths: Adventurous,Athletic, and Creative
Weaknesses:Bullies, pop music, rap music
Likes:Rock music-Such as Nirvana,Green Day, Soundgarden, Foo Fighters, etc
Dislikes:Pop Music, Rap, annoying people
Fears:Spiders
Personality:Alex is very unsocial-able and introverted. He likes to keep time to himself.Alex is very nerdy and geeky. He likes to play baseball a lot.Alex also likes to spend time with his friends. He loves to go outdoors and go on hikes and trails, he loves the study of history and science. Alex is a good listener, he loves to write stories and read a lot.
Abilities:Great at archery and music, and doesn't get blinded by the sun
Powers:Can burn people using the sun (Photokinesis and can burn people to the point of where they are on fire) please keep in mind that this does use a lot of energy(It will take two post for him to regain ability), Healing factor and can heal others(As he cannot heal a unattached limb,and the worst wound he can heal is internal bleeding and 1 post duration), can make people go deaf (Using a high note, that they may only hear and rarely causes hearing loss) uses a little energy and 3 post to regain ability.Afflict others curses and healing and 1 post
Summer or Year Rounder:Year Rounder
Years at Camp:4
Social Status:He is sort've a lone, he does spend a lot of time to himself.
Life Before Camp:School was a tough time, due to the overwhelming growth of pop and rap music, Alex could never fit in with the other kids. He was always enjoying rock music, he was bullied bad by the other kids. He sat on the bus alone a lot. His best friend (Who was a satyr) had gotten him through many depressions and suicidal issues. One of the kids that bullied him bad was a monster (Cyclops), which one day started chasing him through the school. He ran through the halls until he ran into Luke (The satyr) and they had managed to escape the school.Luke had drove him to CHB and they had seen that he had a big love for rock music. He was once hanging out in the music room until he was claimed by Apollo. Alex was pretty happy that he was claimed by Apollo, that was his favorite Greek God. People treated him differently after that. He started writing his own songs and found and interest in poetry.His mother was at the her work (Dentist) when she found out he was being bullied and had went to CHB (Contacted through Iris message), he was 14 when he arrived at camp.
Role-playing Example:Alex was sweaty after jogging 5 miles.Alex sat down and grabbed his bass and played the intro to "Come as you are" by Nirvana.Afterwards he decided to practice sword fighting. Alex was tired and went to sleep listening to My Chemical Romance. He woke up 3 hours later and went to go get something to eat from his mini fridge.
Notes: rock baby


Last edited by masvvevemanboy on 10/8/2015, 7:24 pm; edited 4 times in total
avatar
masvvevemanboy
Newbie

Male
Number of posts : 52
Age : 21
Registration date : 2015-03-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Alex Melohne

Post by Kendall on 10/2/2015, 9:24 pm

Are you trying to use the detailed form to get drachmas, or do you want to get this approved as a normal form? If you want drachmas you'll need at least 1000 words. For now I'm gonna judge this like a detailed form.

You're gonna need to fix the height formatting (to 5'11") and add units to his weight.

Add more to his appearance.

What is his bow made of? His arrows? His armor?

Playing any instrument would be too much, you're gonna need to tone that down. You can say he's proficient at playing numerous instruments but not all.

You need at least 5 flaws, one of which is a physical one he's uncomfortable with.

Personality should be at least 5 sentences long.

Abilities:
- Afflicting people with curses and healing are powers, so you'll need to move these.
- How exactly are "music" and "archery" abilities? Is he very good at playing music and doing archery? Be specific.

Powers:
- How does he burn people with the sun?
- For how many posts can he use this first power (I'm assuming it's something along the lines of photokinesis)? How many posts is the cool-down?
- What's the worst wound he can heal? What else can he heal?
- How many posts would it take to heal said wound?
- Add a cool-down for the healing power too.
- How does he make people go deaf and blind? (I'm leaning towards no to both if this is supposed to be one combined power.)

Social Status is more like various cliques -- is he a loner? A popular jock type?

Life Before Camp and RP Example should both be at least 10 sentences long. (5 for the regular form.) For Life Before Camp, try to detail how he got to camp too.

avatar
Kendall
Mr. Moseby
Majestic Unicorn Queen


Female
Number of posts : 43475
Age : 2015
Registration date : 2008-09-13

View user profile

________________
Kendall (Ares) Archer (Hecate) Avie (Soter) Stella (Ouranos) Aidan (Pyriphlegethon) Tempest (Aeolus) Bee (Melisseus) Nelly (Apollo) Benji (Thoth) Dana (Odyne) Mason (Hermes) Darwin (Hephaestus) Lucy (Somnus; First Cohort)Dorian (Legacy of Mefitis; Third Cohort)Ellie (Dionysus; Hunter of Artemis)

[4 free slots --> Terra, Kai, Rosalie, and Mina are gone]

Back to top Go down

Re: Alex Melohne

Post by masvvevemanboy on 10/7/2015, 9:58 pm

Edited.
avatar
masvvevemanboy
Newbie

Male
Number of posts : 52
Age : 21
Registration date : 2015-03-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Alex Melohne

Post by Kendall on 10/7/2015, 10:14 pm

You still need a unit of measurement for his weight. (He seems sort of underweight for his height?)

Not sure why you added he has contacts in his appearance considering that unless someone's staring directly into his eyes, they'd probably never know he had them in the first place? Are you saying they're colored contacts or such?

I assume his axe is also Celestial bronze? Where did he get such a guitar?

You should rephrase his talent/skill about the instruments so it doesn't seem like he can play a bajillion different instruments except the orchestra ones. Is this innate or did he practice a lot? How skilled is he with the instruments he can play?

Add some more to the personality.

Abilities:
- Again, healing and inflicting people with curses are powers, not abilities. Remove these from this section.

Power:
- In terms of post cool-downs and duration limits, you didn't answer any of my questions. You must answer these to get approved.
- You also still need to tell me the worst wound he can heal; not being able to reattach a limb is rather general.
- How bad are the burns he can inflict with his photokinesis?
- Not too sure about the deafness power. How long does this generally last? Is it capable of causing more long-term damage to the ear if the note is high enough?

LBC:
- What kind of monster was this bully?
- Did he ever let his mom know where he was? Where was she when her son was being bullied and such?
- How old was he when he got to camp?

RP Example still needs to be five sentences long.
avatar
Kendall
Mr. Moseby
Majestic Unicorn Queen


Female
Number of posts : 43475
Age : 2015
Registration date : 2008-09-13

View user profile

________________
Kendall (Ares) Archer (Hecate) Avie (Soter) Stella (Ouranos) Aidan (Pyriphlegethon) Tempest (Aeolus) Bee (Melisseus) Nelly (Apollo) Benji (Thoth) Dana (Odyne) Mason (Hermes) Darwin (Hephaestus) Lucy (Somnus; First Cohort)Dorian (Legacy of Mefitis; Third Cohort)Ellie (Dionysus; Hunter of Artemis)

[4 free slots --> Terra, Kai, Rosalie, and Mina are gone]

Back to top Go down

Re: Alex Melohne

Post by masvvevemanboy on 10/8/2015, 7:24 pm

Edited
avatar
masvvevemanboy
Newbie

Male
Number of posts : 52
Age : 21
Registration date : 2015-03-23

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Alex Melohne

Post by Kwacken on 10/12/2015, 8:22 pm

Weapon:He has a guitar that the neck turns into a axe, which he gotten from Apollo as a godly gift, the axe part of it is celestial bronze. NOTE:The guitar is playable.

Do you have a godparent gift or the drachma to pay for a godparent gift? If not, then the guitar can still change over in order to be mortal-world acceptable, but it cannot be a gift from Apollo. He will have had to have gotten it somewhere else.

Skills/Talents:Play only play instruments that are in the rock genre. EX:Drums, Guitars, Bass, etc,he had practiced and was in a band a lot of times,he is unique with them, he can play any rock song with them, can make milk come from nose?

Play any rock song by ear? By music? By rote memorization?

Personality:Alex is very unsocial-able and introverted. He likes to keep time to himself.Alex is very nerdy and geeky. He likes to play baseball a lot.Alex also likes to spend time with his friends. He loves to go outdoors and go on hikes and trails, he loves the study of history and science. Alex is a good listener, he loves to write stories and read a lot.

Wouldn't being *very* unsociable and liking to spend time with friends be a bit of a contradiction?

Abilities:Great at archery and music, and doesn't get blinded by the sun

Be a little less vague with the archery and music abilities

Powers:Can burn people using the sun (Photokinesis and can burn people to the point of where they are on fire) please keep in mind that this does use a lot of energy(It will take two post for him to regain ability),

No. I will allow the manipulation of light to produce up to 150*F for a duration of 3 posts, if there is a very reasonable cool down to go with it. I am not allowing setting people on fire.

Healing factor and can heal others(As he cannot heal a unattached limb,and the worst wound he can heal is internal bleeding and 1 post duration),

Scale it back and increase the cool down time.

can make people go deaf (Using a high note, that they may only hear and rarely causes hearing loss) uses a little energy and 3 post to regain ability.

How long do they go dead for?

Afflict others curses and healing and 1 post

Vague powers are vague. Define this more and give it a much large cool down or it will be outright and staunchly rejected.
avatar
Kwacken
Senior Member

Female
Number of posts : 2302
Age : 29
Registration date : 2014-12-31

View user profile

________________



( 1 ) Cust. Rank, Monster Attack, Character Slot, Loss of Limb, Exotic Pet
( 2 ) Name Change
( 3 ) Shout Out, Name color(2mo)
( 6 ) GP Visit
( 8 ) GP Gift

Back to top Go down

Re: Alex Melohne

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top


 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum