Fade Into Darkness

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Fade Into Darkness

Post by Belle on 5/31/2016, 7:02 pm

Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she was just going over everything in her mind. The two demigods hadn't been fairly close since coming home from their mission to retrieve information from Dimitri's family property. Some things were said and they had a few things that were ultimately unresolved. Dominika had already regretted what she said, she did the minute she said it, but she was furious. She had been burning with rage induced by the hurt.

Not to mention with the recent conversation she had with Heath, she couldn't agree more at that point. Dimitri was slipping and he was slipping fast. Although Dominika wasn't sure if there was much that could be done, but at least they could talk about it. She wanted to talk about it, but her and Dimitri weren't in the best place, but if she couldn't go to him, that could be worse in the long run wouldn't it?

"Dimitri."
She said softly and her arms relaxed a bit along with her expression. "You know I'm sorry about what I said right? I don't think you're a sheep... I was just scared, I didn't want to lose you, but sometimes when you're standing right beside me and you're safe it feels like I'm losing you. It feels like you're slipping away, and I can't do anything about it. Because when I try to think about doing something, it's almost like you come back for a brief moment, but then in brief moments, it feels like I'm losing you all over again. I don't want to feel this way, and I don't want to see you go. I want to help you, but I don't know how." Dominika said her voice fading in and out and her bottom lip quivering by the end of it.
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Re: Fade Into Darkness

Post by Metilinos on 5/31/2016, 9:06 pm

Dimitri stood in front of Dominika, things were now different for Dimitri. He didn't talk about a lot of things, but he sure thought about them. He stood there, his expression remaining at an absolute neutral while his girlfriend confided in him. At least, that's what he assumed they were still. He waited for her to finish. "Y'said what y'said." Dimitri plainly stated. "What'd done is done, ain't nothin' we can do 'bout it now." Dimitri tried to push that topic out of the way, it was an intensely sore spot for him.

He did feel some calling, however. "I ain't goin' nowhere. I'm here, in front've you, right now." Dimitri said, taking a step closer to her. "I don't want'ya to think anythin' is goin' on, that anythin' is goin'ta happen, y'know? I just need'ja to understand that-" Dimitri paused, dead in the middle of speaking. Suddenly his expression darkened, as a connection formed in his head.

"Did you say slippin'?" Dimitri asked, now taking a step away from the daughter of Jupiter. "Dominika, I gotta ask you, did'jou talk to Heath 'bout this?" Dimitri asked. His tone was less kind and caring than it previously was. He had to know. He just had to.
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Re: Fade Into Darkness

Post by Belle on 5/31/2016, 10:20 pm

Dominika's heart sank a bit when he said that what was done was done. She felt hurt there was nothing she could do, because she didn't mean what she had said, she didn't mean any of it. "Don't say that." She spoke softly in response to him. He just didn't seem like him some days and it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he didn't have that stupid bright and happy smile on his face everyday, it wasn't fair that the only torch within his soul was smothered out. The light that kept him going was gone. The last flicker of light went that same night she called him a sheep. Something he's mentally beat herself up about for so long now. All the things he said still felt like knife blades every time they came back up. 'You don't get it, and you never will get it.' He even mentioned her jabbing her spear through his throat and it all just was an overbearing burden on her now.

The daughter of Jupiter grew to be a bit timid now. She bit her lip to try and stop the tears that'd come with the washing over of pain she felt reside in her chest. She wanted to take it all back, but in that moment she had to try and stop him. She didn't want to lose him, but it still was an issue, she didn't lose him physically, but mentally she lost him. He still had obvious feelings for her and he cared, there wasn't doubt about it, but there wasn't much of him left, and she could see it.

"I don't know if I can understand that Dimitri, you have to try and see where I'm coming from, because I don't think you do." She said and held onto his wrists when he stepped closer. "I just slowly see you getting darker and darker. Fading into it almost. I don't know what to do because you don't see it, and you're different. I know you've been through a lot, but I need you to hold on to where you come from and who you are. I know it's not there anymore and I know it hurts, I can't feel the pain that you feel, and apparently I'll never understand it, but all I'm asking you to do right now is understand me." She pleaded with tears rolling down her face at this moment.

It didn't last long, because he began to question the words she had said and he took a step away from her. Little did he know that step hurt more than one would think. She let go of his wrists easily, and her bottom lip began to tremble again. Dominika wasn't sure if she should back up or not or if she should be scared at this point. He wasn't mean or malicious, he was curious, just she didn't know him completely anymore. "We didn't really talk, he's just concerned. I've noticed it before he said anything to me, Dimitri. The fact he brought it up, means other people are starting to notice, and you know he's not a bad guy. He's actually looking out for you. We didn't really talk at all, okay, he just mentioned it. please don't be mad."
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Re: Fade Into Darkness

Post by Metilinos on 5/31/2016, 10:49 pm

Dimitri listened to her entirely before he spoke again. His words seemed to gain him so little lately, while his actions had been all that counted. "You trust him over me." Dimitri's voice had gone silent for the moment. "Was- was it him in New Zealand?" Dimitri asked. He thought it hadn't bothered him, seeing Dominika dance with someone else. But it called to him now, knowing that it was Heath. "I was with Andrew. And he was tellin' me that stuff. And we saw you dancin'. Was it with him?"

"Dominika, this ain't me slippin'. It ain't me fadin' away or goin' nowhere. This is me bein' who I need to be. I've screwed up too many times, lost too much 'cause've my own mistakes. Let other people lose things, when I shoulda made sure that didn't happen. This ain't slippin' or fallin'. This is me understandin' the real world, how things really work. This is how I survive. This is how we survive. If I don't do this, what happens next? When I take people with me, they're my responsibility. I wasn't ready. But I am now. And that's what this is." He couldn't get her words out of his head now. And he stepped back.

"Does any of that matter now though? You don't trust me anymore." Dimitri said. "You think've me like I'm gonna do somethin'. Like I'm gonna hurt you." It hit Dimitri like a boulder being flung out of a catapult. Dimitri's eyes lowered down, and they fixed themselves to her leg. It was his fault it was gone. He looked back up at her. Suddenly he realized it. He didn't deserve her trust. She trusted him and he took her leg from her.
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Re: Fade Into Darkness

Post by Belle on 5/31/2016, 11:28 pm

Dominika was stunned. She didn't know what to say. Well she did, but words wouldn't form and they wouldn't become audible. How were you supposed to respond to that? When your boyfriend seems to be bothered by you dancing with a friend. It actually angered her. Nika was going to apologize and explain it, but she realized she didn't have to. "It was him. I can't dance with other people now?" She questioned him and her arms crossed again and she looked at him. "I showed up to the dance, because you were going, at the end of it, I chose you. I wanted you, and you're all I ever wanted. At the end of each day, I will always choose you. Don't you think if I really wanted to be with Heath, I'd already be with him? Why would I do that to you. You know me better than anyone Dimitri, you know my past, with that in mind do you really think I would just toy with your feelings?!" The daughter of Jupiter said yelling by this point. Back to where she was the night his family house burned down. Just fueled by hurt that came out in anger.

"We make mistakes Dimitri, we learn from them. It isn't your responsibility on what other people do, we are a product of our choices, damn it." She said obviously agitated by this point, that she threw her fist towards the tree leaving a mark in the bark. Her knuckles were sore and red, even a bit scratched, but that didn't matter to her.

"You think you know how the real world works, and you think the rest of us are just young innocent people, the thing is Dimitri, we've been living in the real world a lot longer than you have. The reason why I defend Heath and believe in what he says in this case, is because he deals with this crap all the time. His family are basically drug lords, he was trained to not even have an emotional connection at all with anyone, he was trained to fight, his own father didn't even love him that much. You know he got so much sh!t for the fact he helped his sister out and lost the task he was supposed to do. He was supposed to leave his sister to die, but he didn't. His father tormented him for years. He's seen people lose everything before, he has lost everything that he cared about, that is the real world and he has lived in it since he was born into the family he was. You know my story, I was abused by the man who I was supposed to call my own father, abandoned by my real one, because he doesn't even care about any of his children unless he's proud of them, I was almost taken advantage of again at a party I was drugged because I trusted someone. I didn't have a home ever. No where was my home. For you to sit here and act like you're the only one who sees the real world, well news flash Dimitri, you aren't. People are cruel, manipulative, they take your home away from you, they take everything, they take everything you have, every last drop of sanity, every last drop of hope, until you're a walking carcass and there's nothing you can do. You don't think I don't know, because I tell you, I've been in this cold lonely world a lot longer than you have, and I tell you, you were the only thing that didn't make it feel that way. The one thing I could call my home, but I don't see you anymore." Dominika said and by this point she was out of breath and she felt defeated. Her hand slipped off the tree trunk and she leaned against it turning her back to him.

"I trust you, I just don't trust what you're becoming, because I don't know, I just I don't I saw how you were with the cyclops." She said, her voice wavering and choking back sobs. She could feel her body shake as her body gave into the sobbing finally. Dimitri was undoubtly her home, if not her world, and the thought of losing him was a lot to take. "You don't seem to trust me, thinking I want Heath, but I don't" She said hardly audible at this point, as she continued to have tears stream down from her face.
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Re: Fade Into Darkness

Post by Metilinos on 5/31/2016, 11:57 pm

"There is no who I was, and who I'm turning into, or even a who I'm gonna be. There's just me, Dominika. I get that you don't like this, but this is what it needs to be. That cyclops? If I didn't do what I did, I'd've died, right there. Then who knows what would've happened? Another cyclops coulda been on you or Nestor instantly. And then after one of you were gone? It'd be a one on three. I had to do what I did. And if I wasn't workin' on bein' this? I wouldn't've been able to. This is how we live, Dominika. This, right here. This is how we take care of our people, keep them alive. This is how we take down Lear. You have to be ready, Dominika. You have to be. If you ain't, they'll come for you. They always do." Dimitri spoke, adamantly.

"The real world ain't 'bout having somethin' happen to you. It's'bout lettin' somethin' happen. It's when somethin' happens and it's your fault, Dominika." Dimitri's head tilted, his face unshaven and his hair unkempt. "Nestor's eye coulda been saved. My parents. The house. Ariadne. Maybe even Truman." Dimitri stopped talking, and an eerie silence took over, before he finally looked back at her. "I made that call that night, y'know. We went further up the hill 'cause people trusted me when I said t'do so. And then? You lost your leg. That's on me. If it weren't for me you'd still have your leg, Dominika. That's the real world."
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Re: Fade Into Darkness

Post by Belle on 6/1/2016, 12:17 am

"you.don't.get.it." Dominikina said with emphasis on the each word as it came out through gritted teeth. She wanted to just sink down to the ground and cry over and over again. No matter what he said, or what he believed in this moment, it wasn't him. She knew in her heart. It was, but it wasn't right. This Lear person has been a big cause in Dimitri's life and has done so many things. Indirectly tormenting him. She wanted to fix it, but she couldn't.

She was so frustrated that anything that surfaced her mind wasn't sticking. She couldn't even say anything to this, and the more she tried the more angry she grew. He really didn't get it, he was so stupid sometimes. Her hand clenched into a fist and it was shaking violently at this point. She had such the urge to just unleash her hurt on him, but it wasn't fair to him.

Turning around to face him, she still had tears streaming down her face. She couldn't help it. Her hair was up, generally how it normally was, but a bit messier and quite a few loose strands hanging down in her face. "My leg isn't your fault. I was being an idiot that night. If anything you saved my life, be thankful for that. I rather come out with no leg and a life than no life and a leg." She said softly. She had nothing in response to what he had said previously. He could walk away at any moment and she wouldn't follow him. She was done fighting, she wanted to hit him so bad, but that wasn't fair to him. She wanted to yell and scream, but she just didn't have it in her. If he left she wouldn't follow. He'd go back to camp and so would she. "I can't fight with you anymore Dimitri." She spoke quietly, her gaze looking down to the ground. She didn't know when she became such a softie around him, but she was okay with it.
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Re: Fade Into Darkness

Post by Metilinos on 6/1/2016, 12:45 am

"Fact is, I begged you to stay that night. You stayed for me, and this is what I brought you back to. At the time, it felt terrifyin' to go another day without you. I yearned for you. I wanted to spend every moment with you. That's how I felt that night, and holdin' you there, I took somethin' away from you, Dominika." Dimitri had turned away at this point, he couldn't look at her while he said this. "I took away your choice. 'Cause I remember, y'know, that y'said you were ready t'go. After that, there'd be no pain, no loss, no sadness, no hurt. No nothin'." Dimitri explained. Everything seemed so clear.

"And now? I don't even try to feel all those things. I still love you, Dominika, but I live knowin' how much safer you are when you ain't with me. That the more I'm in your life, the more you're at risk. That is the truth, Dominika. That's me, that's who I am. The truth is, when I go out there? I want somethin' to find me. I want things to go wrong. And that ain't me goin' crazy. It ain't me slippin'. That's just who I am. And because of who I am, people will live. Others who can't do this, they won't have to, because I'll do it for them."

"Maybe I thought it was best you didn't know that, but, that's who I am." Dimitri stated, as a final declaration. "It ain't safe for us to be together, Dominika. It never was."
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Re: Fade Into Darkness

Post by Belle on 6/1/2016, 1:00 am

"You don't get to act like this!" Dominika shouted. she was furious and confused and a whole lot of emotions were circling around in her head right now. Did he say what she thought he said. It was like holding the world on your back, and you lost control for just one moment and then it crashed on top of you. She felt numb.

Dominika could feel the hurt and pain washing through her body. Her heart felt heavy and tight, and instead of pumping blood it just felt like pain. She felt like she wasn't getting enough oxygen and her throat was tight and it was hard to breathe. This wasn't happening. The tears came out, rolling after the other, hot on her cheek. Dominika felt like she was hit in the gut, and she felt utterly betrayed.

"Fine, leave Dimitri." She said sniffling. She was shaking her head and her eyes were red and puffy. "Just f*cking leave! You'll be no different than the rest. I put my trust, care, and love into it and they leave, or they just don't want me. They get their fill and decide to pack up and leave. Just know, if you leave today and we're through, you'll have a hard time getting me back. You'll have to earn my trust back, because if you leave me now, you're breaking it. Just like everyone else did, and you'll make me regret trusting you." She said while trying to keep herself up and not crumbling to the ground. Dominika couldn't stand to hear the words he had said, not even the replay in her mind over and over again. "If you're not all in, then just leave. Don't hurt me anymore than I am."
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Re: Fade Into Darkness

Post by Metilinos on 6/1/2016, 1:34 am

There was a lot of things Dimitri wanted to say to her. Things that he didn't understand at this point. But Dimitri had made his choice. He didn't want to lose Dominika, but at this point, everything had been placed down. It had taken every last ounce of courage Dimitri held in order to say what he did, and hearing her response broke what was left of his resolve. But it would rebuild again, and he would do what he needed to do. He would survive.

To say anything would only make it worse for Dominika. To say he would miss her, or that he loved her, he knew the truth that saying that wouldn't be for her; it would be something he would be doing for himself. Dimitri didn't turn back to look at her, he just couldn't risk that. It was at that moment that something happened to Dimitri, something he thought he was passed. His eyes began to feel irritated, and then they began to leak, profusely. He hadn't truly cried in so long. The wretched emotions were so common in his daily life that it never made a difference. It made him angry that in his one moment when he needed to be strong, he wasn't doing it. But he knew he could start building up again. He just had to make it away.

He wiped his tears as he walked away, heading to a place he was in debt to. The place his kind commonly considered home; Camp Half-Blood. There was so much he wanted to build, and give, and be there for. But in the heat of the moment, he'd made the call to put her safety first. Staying in Camp Jupiter was more safe than running from coast to coast.

This was the right call. No matter how much it tormented him, at least she was alive.

"For the record." Dimitri's voice was shaky, but he forced himself to stabilize, he wouldn't fall here. "I- I didn't have a right to do what I did." Dimitri's voice stabilized. "On Temple Hill, I told you that you didn't wanna kill that bein', that sick and twisted monster. It ain't my right to keep you from that. Fact is, if he lived any closer to here? I'd just kill him with my own hands." The demigod walked away, truly departing.
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