Jack leaf - Son to Chronos

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Jack leaf - Son to Chronos

Post by MachoDangerNoob on 1/19/2017, 2:48 pm

Name: James Leaf
Age: 16
Gender: Male/Boy
Eyes: Gold
Hair: Black
Height: 2 m
Body Type: Mesomorph
Skin Color: Olive
God Parent: Chronos
Mortal Parent: Jenna Leaf
Country of Origin: Manhattan
Pets: No pet
Talents: Good on the math
Weapon**: scythe
Personality: Angry, like to fight.
Flaws: He wants power.
Abilities (must relate to god parent; optional): He are a master on scythe
Powers (must relate to god parent; optional): He can slow down the time.
Life Before Camp*: He was born on the camp.
RP Example*: Jack run into a forrest, there he meet 100 monsters! They atack him tohgeter! But he only slow down the time and kill them!
Any notes about your characters: -

MachoDangerNoob

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Re: Jack leaf - Son to Chronos

Post by Alpha Wolf on 1/19/2017, 4:17 pm

So..it's been quite some time since I've been here, and tbf I'm not supposed to comment on these things but at the same time I was asked to.

Your grammar in some section, my friend you should probably get a spellchecker.

What exactly is a mesomorph cause dear sir I have yet to see that kinda description.

Chronos is not allowed as a parent without special permission, dems da rules.

Angry and likes to fights? What is he a toddler? Does he have a temper problem? Details they are important

He wants power as a flaw? Imma need to see something a little better on that one.

That background doesn't even meet the minimal requirements of the site let alone some of these older vets ideas of a background, and that rp example needs work

All in all I rate this a 3/10 and require that you look back through the character form rules and requirements then check back with someone that this matters for.
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Alpha Wolf
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