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 WIP Character

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Virena

Virena

Female
Number of posts : 9
Age : 15
Registration date : 2017-07-06

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 3:22 pm

Name: Virena Solate
Age: 13
Gender: Female
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Long, blonde
Height: 5'4"
Body Type: strong from archery and working out
Skin Color: pale-ish
God Parent: Apollo
Mortal Parent: Kate Solate
Country of Origin: Norway
Pets: Dog
Talents: sports and crafts
Weapon**:  celestial bronze bow and arrows
Personality: stubborn, fun to be around, sassy, sarcastic, mostly outgoing
Flaws: Can be very rude. Can be too strong. Violent. Hates most people. Otherwise is nice
Life Before Camp*: Did good in beginning of school, but didn't have many friends. Virena was Socially awkward. she Wrote a popular book. Hated life and people. But she's starting to change.
RP Example*: As I stepped foot into the Apollo cabin, My jaw dropped. I was so excited to meet fellow children of the sun god. There weren't as many as I thought, though.  But the cabin itself is what got my attention. along with this guy named Will.


Last edited by Virena on 7/7/2017, 2:02 pm; edited 3 times in total
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Mason
Role Playing Legend
Mason

Male
Number of posts : 11340
Age : 18
Registration date : 2011-11-05

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 3:28 pm

Hey, Virenna, I know this is a WIP, but just to point out a few things.

Life Before Camp needs to be a minimum of 5 sentences. Some points to talk about, if you need ideas, would be her childhood, how she did in school, what her home life was like, how she got to camp, etc.

RP Example is like writing a short 5 sentence story with your character. For example, "I walked into the mess hall, hungry as could be. I immediately went to get food."

Are you confused on powers/abilities or just haven't put them in?

________________
Jason Sungo, son of Hecate~17
12 slots

Mystery Box Prizes: 3 monster attacks, a name change, god parent visit
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Virena

Virena

Female
Number of posts : 9
Age : 15
Registration date : 2017-07-06

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 3:32 pm

no im not confused i'm just not putting them in. thanks for help
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Mason
Role Playing Legend
Mason

Male
Number of posts : 11340
Age : 18
Registration date : 2011-11-05

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 3:33 pm

Yep, just comment "Edited" or "Finished" when you're ready to be checked (:

________________
Jason Sungo, son of Hecate~17
12 slots

Mystery Box Prizes: 3 monster attacks, a name change, god parent visit
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Virena

Virena

Female
Number of posts : 9
Age : 15
Registration date : 2017-07-06

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 3:39 pm

edited
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Mason
Role Playing Legend
Mason

Male
Number of posts : 11340
Age : 18
Registration date : 2011-11-05

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 3:45 pm

Are her bow and arrows celestial bronze?

Add a few more talents.

Add at least two more personality flaws.

Try to make your Life Before Camp complete sentences, even if they're short. Like, for example, "She did good in school. However, she was socially awkward. She wrote a book."

________________
Jason Sungo, son of Hecate~17
12 slots

Mystery Box Prizes: 3 monster attacks, a name change, god parent visit
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Virena

Virena

Female
Number of posts : 9
Age : 15
Registration date : 2017-07-06

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 3:47 pm

ugh this is so hard for someone as lazy as me XP
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Mason
Role Playing Legend
Mason

Male
Number of posts : 11340
Age : 18
Registration date : 2011-11-05

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 3:50 pm

Lol, I apologize. I don't think we ask for much, though- I'm giving you guidelines for bare minimum requirements. Tell me when you edited (:

________________
Jason Sungo, son of Hecate~17
12 slots

Mystery Box Prizes: 3 monster attacks, a name change, god parent visit
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Virena

Virena

Female
Number of posts : 9
Age : 15
Registration date : 2017-07-06

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 3:54 pm

we good yet? if not, i'll edit AGAIN tomorrow
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Mason
Role Playing Legend
Mason

Male
Number of posts : 11340
Age : 18
Registration date : 2011-11-05

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 4:02 pm

Much better, but still with a couple of flaws. Good job. (:

-Flirting with guys isn't much of a flaw, unless you mean overly flirty. You still need a 3rd flaw, though.

-In her history, add a part about how she got to camp.

-Also, how popular was this book, exactly?

-You still need 1 or 2 more personality traits.

________________
Jason Sungo, son of Hecate~17
12 slots

Mystery Box Prizes: 3 monster attacks, a name change, god parent visit
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Virena

Virena

Female
Number of posts : 9
Age : 15
Registration date : 2017-07-06

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 4:04 pm

whew almost done. im done with this today though. you seem cool so i might talk to you
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Mason
Role Playing Legend
Mason

Male
Number of posts : 11340
Age : 18
Registration date : 2011-11-05

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 4:07 pm

Alright, tell me when you edit and me or another approver will check it. And thanks, I guess, you're cool too. (:

________________
Jason Sungo, son of Hecate~17
12 slots

Mystery Box Prizes: 3 monster attacks, a name change, god parent visit
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The Cheshire Cat
Loyal Member
The Cheshire Cat

Female
Number of posts : 3262
Age : 21
Registration date : 2014-12-18

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/6/2017, 4:46 pm

Weapon
-Silver is only for Hunters of Artemis so please change this to Celestial Bronze.

Personality
-You need a bit more personality, at least 5 traits.

Flaws
-You need at least one physical flaw.

Life Before Camp
-You need to add more to the LBC. How was their growing up? Were their powers ever a problem? How did they get to camp? Did monsters ever attack? ect.
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Virena

Virena

Female
Number of posts : 9
Age : 15
Registration date : 2017-07-06

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/16/2017, 4:01 pm

edited?
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Mason
Role Playing Legend
Mason

Male
Number of posts : 11340
Age : 18
Registration date : 2011-11-05

WIP Character Empty
PostSubject: Re: WIP Character   WIP Character Icon_minitime7/16/2017, 5:05 pm

Add some more detail to her Life Before Camp, like how she got to camp, or if monsters attacked.

________________
Jason Sungo, son of Hecate~17
12 slots

Mystery Box Prizes: 3 monster attacks, a name change, god parent visit
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