John Aposon, Undetermind

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John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Thegamingninja55 on 6/23/2018, 3:57 am

Name: John Aposon

Age: 12

Gender: male

Eyes: blue

Hair: brown

Height: 4 10

Body Type: medium.

Skin Color: fair.

God Parent: Apollo but is undetermined

Mortal Parent: Grace Aposon

Country of Origin: America

Pets: parrot

Talents: Archery (hits most thing with pin point accuracy) and music

Weapon**: a celestial bronze thin ring that can morph into multiple weapons one of each like a sword, bow (bow creates a magical arrow when drawn), shield, knife, ect.

Personality: fun loving, free-spirited, easily bored, likes archery and finding a way around people to get out of a conversation.

Flaws: if asked to do something boring I will most likely ignore it and I dance around the main point of things more often than not and I dont have the highest confidence but its at an ok medium but some times I'm too over confident.

Abilities (must relate to god parent; optional): godly parent undetermined

Powers (must relate to god parent; optional): godly parent undetermined.

Life Before Camp*: Just an ordinary life but my mother toke me out camping or to archery every week. Until one day a monster came rushing from the trees I heard it and shot at it hitting the monster straight in the head but the arrow passed through it then, just as it crippled and turned to dust a wounded satyr came running from behind it sword drawn just like he stabbed something in the back which was medium sized hell hound.

RP Example*: The satyr called Red lead me through the woods stepping on natural that Ive walked 1000 time with boots on but it felt more natural this time, I sprinted throw the thorns and bounced off the bark Red then got me to a place called half-blood hill wounded, Red gave me my celestial bronze ring when he got sent to collect me bringing me to camp half-blood Red gave me my ring to protect myself because when I picked up the dust left behind I left my bow and arrows on the ground.

Any notes about your characters: Never gets sunburnt


Last edited by Thegamingninja55 on 7/11/2018, 7:44 pm; edited 8 times in total (Reason for editing : fixing)

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Morgan Landry on 6/23/2018, 5:30 am

Heya!

- Please change his first name
- Eagles are exotic pets, which you need to win in a mystery box or an event. Please change it. He can have a parrot?
- What kind of weapons can the ring morph into?
- Please add more to his personality. What does he do for fun? Why is he the way that he is? Are there any hobbies he enjoys?
- Low understanding of mythology is not a flaw. Right now your flaws are "difficult to work with" and "medium confidence" - the latter of which isn't really a flaw. Consider things like laziness, smugness, arrogance, unable to own up to mistakes, etc
- Okay your LBC sounds way too much like the first Percy Jackson book. The Minotaur is a monster that's extremely difficult to kill so I'm gonna have to ask you to go with one that's less powerful. How about a medium-sized hellhound or a Scythian dracaena?
- How did he kill a monster without celestial bronze? Mortal arrows just go straight through them.
- Please use periods in your writing. It just looks like a giant sentence and is quite difficult to read.
- You need to buy or win god parent gifts. Please take away the part where the satyr got it from his god parent.

Rest looks good! :)
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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Thegamingninja55 on 6/23/2018, 7:00 am

I got 1 exotic pet and 2 godly parent gifts from a mystery box

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Morgan Landry on 6/23/2018, 9:02 am

No, you didn't. You don't have enough drachmas to buy mystery boxes.
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Morgan Landry
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Number of posts : 15654
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________________


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for the RP invite


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(My mystery box prizes: 2 god parent gifts+2 slots+1exotic pet)

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Thegamingninja55 on 6/23/2018, 6:21 pm

edited:
-changed it so there's a space between each info bit
-fixed it

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Morgan Landry on 6/25/2018, 7:47 pm

Hey :)

- You need a precise amount of weapons that the ring can turn into. Eg 1 sword, 1 bow, 1 spear.
- No to energy arrows, demigods use celestial bronze
- "I always stand and fight even if the odds aren't in my favor instead of running even if everyone around me ran way" So you're saying that his flaw is bravery?
- The last flaw is super vague. Overconfident or under confident, please choose one, not both.
- Please use punctuation in your LBC and RP example.

Rest is good :)
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Morgan Landry
High Queen of Narnia

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Number of posts : 15654
Registration date : 2011-12-31

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________________


Click on the gifs








for the RP invite


Guest, you are awesome.
(My mystery box prizes: 2 god parent gifts+2 slots+1exotic pet)

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Thegamingninja55 on 7/11/2018, 7:44 pm

edited

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