John Aposon, Undetermind

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John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Thegamingninja55 on 6/23/2018, 3:57 am

Name: John Aposon

Age: 12

Gender: male

Eyes: blue

Hair: Orange (dyed)

Height: 4 10

Body Type: medium.

Skin Color: fair.

God Parent: Apollo but is undetermined

Mortal Parent: Grace Aposon

Country of Origin: America

Pets: parrot

Talents: Archery (hits most thing with pin point accuracy) and music

Weapon**: a celestial bronze thin ring that can morph into multiple weapons and only one of each like a sword, bow (bow creates a magical arrow when drawn that only act like normal arrows), shield, knife, ect.

Personality: fun loving, free-spirited, easily bored, likes archery and finding a way around people to get out of a conversation, also can be a little to quick thinking and not think things through

Flaws: if asked to do something boring I will most likely ignore it
I dance around the main point of things more often than not
I dont have the highest confidence but its at an ok medium but some times I'm too over confident.
I can think quick on my feet but it almost always ends badly and I don't apply any wisdom to it at all or much thought

Abilities (must relate to god parent; optional): godly parent undetermined

Powers (must relate to god parent; optional): godly parent undetermined.

Life Before Camp*: Just an ordinary life but my mother toke me out camping or to archery every week. Until one day a monster came rushing from the trees I heard it and shot at it hitting the monster straight in the head but the arrow passed through it then, just as it crippled and turned to dust a wounded satyr came running from behind it sword drawn just like he stabbed something in the back which was medium sized hell hound.

RP Example*: The satyr called Red lead me through the woods stepping on natural that Ive walked 1000 time with boots on but it felt more natural this time, I sprinted throw the thorns and bounced off the bark Red then got me to a place called half-blood hill alive but wounded.Red gave me my celestial bronze ring when he got sent to collect me. Bringing me to camp half-blood Red gave me my ring to protect myself because when I picked up the dust left behind I left my bow and arrows on the ground.

Any notes about your characters: Never gets sunburnt


Last edited by Thegamingninja55 on 8/12/2018, 4:48 am; edited 12 times in total (Reason for editing : fixing)

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Morgan Landry on 6/23/2018, 5:30 am

Heya!

- Please change his first name
- Eagles are exotic pets, which you need to win in a mystery box or an event. Please change it. He can have a parrot?
- What kind of weapons can the ring morph into?
- Please add more to his personality. What does he do for fun? Why is he the way that he is? Are there any hobbies he enjoys?
- Low understanding of mythology is not a flaw. Right now your flaws are "difficult to work with" and "medium confidence" - the latter of which isn't really a flaw. Consider things like laziness, smugness, arrogance, unable to own up to mistakes, etc
- Okay your LBC sounds way too much like the first Percy Jackson book. The Minotaur is a monster that's extremely difficult to kill so I'm gonna have to ask you to go with one that's less powerful. How about a medium-sized hellhound or a Scythian dracaena?
- How did he kill a monster without celestial bronze? Mortal arrows just go straight through them.
- Please use periods in your writing. It just looks like a giant sentence and is quite difficult to read.
- You need to buy or win god parent gifts. Please take away the part where the satyr got it from his god parent.

Rest looks good! :)
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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Thegamingninja55 on 6/23/2018, 7:00 am

I got 1 exotic pet and 2 godly parent gifts from a mystery box

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Morgan Landry on 6/23/2018, 9:02 am

No, you didn't. You don't have enough drachmas to buy mystery boxes.
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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Thegamingninja55 on 6/23/2018, 6:21 pm

edited:
-changed it so there's a space between each info bit
-fixed it

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Morgan Landry on 6/25/2018, 7:47 pm

Hey :)

- You need a precise amount of weapons that the ring can turn into. Eg 1 sword, 1 bow, 1 spear.
- No to energy arrows, demigods use celestial bronze
- "I always stand and fight even if the odds aren't in my favor instead of running even if everyone around me ran way" So you're saying that his flaw is bravery?
- The last flaw is super vague. Overconfident or under confident, please choose one, not both.
- Please use punctuation in your LBC and RP example.

Rest is good :)
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Morgan Landry
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Number of posts : 15687
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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Thegamingninja55 on 7/11/2018, 7:44 pm

edited

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

Post by Morgan Landry on 8/10/2018, 4:44 pm

Hi!

- Please edit everything I asked for in my last post. You still havent given me a precise amount of weapons that ring can turn into, and essentially exchanged "energy arrows" for "magic arrows", which won't be allowed unless you tell me exactly what they do. This is not to annoy you or make you lose time, but to make sure RP scenarios will be fair for your partners.
- You need 3 flaws, and you havent changed the one I asked you to change in my previous post.
- You literally added 1 comma and 1 period for the LBC and RP example. You need 6 sentences for each.
- Add a bit more to the personality bit

Please edit everything I've asked you to edit. Otherwise we both lose time.
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Morgan Landry
High Queen of Narnia

Female
Number of posts : 15687
Registration date : 2011-12-31

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________________


Click on the gifs








for the RP invite


Guest, you are awesome.
(My mystery box prizes: 2 god parent gifts+2 slots+1exotic pet)

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Re: John Aposon, Undetermind

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