Squalls bunk

Subject: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 3:26 am

I walked in and took out my cloak. "Nothing is left...I'm a nothing..." I put on the coat and pulled up the hood that hid my face. The Hood was back and was here to stay. I walked back out

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 3:53 am

I walked back in and take off my hood...I take out my contacts anx replaced then with gold eyes, then I messed with my hair until it was spiked like Clouds in Advent Children , then appiled tattoo's of a black ravens wing to my back and then skulls and cross bones. I etched GT3 into my arm but I didn't fee it. Grand Total 3...yup that's about right for my breaks...I sighed as I slipped into my bunk and pulled the covers up to my neck and just laid there, starring into the walls.

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 8:44 pm

I wander in my memories leading me here nothing other than that "I remember this place..." I whisper surprised

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 9:45 pm

I looked up, I looked horrible. Red eyes, my skin was paler then normal, I even reopened my scars. I had a stab wound between two ribs but it wasn't deep enough to kill me

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 9:55 pm

I look at him and gasp grabbing his arm "What did you do?!!! We have to get you to the infirmary! Now!!!"

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 10:14 pm

I wretched away from her and backed up. "Don't touch me"

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 10:18 pm

I looked at him hurt he was never this cold to me never would've turned a blind eye to me I sigh and head towards the door "I'm sorry I'm not... worth anything anymore." I whisper taking the necklace off over my head to get rid of the hurt and pain before I leave

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 10:22 pm

I sit on the floor and just looked at my blood dripping out. After a while I started to pick up sharpened peices of metal. I only heard the lines of Going under in my head.

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:21 pm

I walk in not even looking at him looking at the ground not wanting to see what happened

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:25 pm

"You came back..." I said not looking up at all as I ran my finger across the peice of metal. "I thought you hated me...fun how my heart and mind seem to have deicided I don't exist truly"

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:28 pm

"I can't hate you it would kill me if I hated you my insides would turn to dust and I would never be able to function ever again." I whisper falling to my knees still unable to look at him it killed me when I did

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:33 pm

I cut my palm. "Still not even a tingle" I muttered tossing the blade aside. "Your heart is gone right...you left me twice...and I've broken you twice without trying...and now whatever I had left inside is gone...I don't know if I was made to love you or to hurt you"

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:38 pm

"I can still feel just not all the happy emotions so if you were made to love me I can't feel love back I-I'm sorry and if you were made to hurt me... go ahead and run me through with that blade cut my hands off do whatever it is that you can do to hurt me I don't care."

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:40 pm

I touched her cheek with my other hand.

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:44 pm

I shake my head attempting to hold back tears but failing sniffing and grabbing the bandages out of my bag "I have to-to fix you..." I say taking his hand and wrapping it

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:46 pm

I stopped her. "Don't try to I'll just keep doing it until I feel it"

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:48 pm

I keep wrapping him up "I-I don-don't want you t-to die." I stutter still crying

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:49 pm

"You'd care?" I said still trying to stop her

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:51 pm

I nod "I'm not supposed to feel caring towards anyone no heart but I do." I whisper still trying to wrap his wounds and tears running down my face "I would follow right after you anyways."

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/17/2011, 11:56 pm

I looked at her. "All this started because of the chance I go on a quest..." I mumbled as I looked away. "Fine fix me up...I'll just open them back up"

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/18/2011, 12:01 am

I finish fixing him on the outside but I could tell he was still hurting on the inside "I'm sorry I hurt you my beautiful disaster I never wanted to I never ever wanted to see you like this I would kill myself if I knew it would make things better."

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/18/2011, 12:03 am

"It wouldn't help...id blame myself and then..I would kill myself too"

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/18/2011, 12:05 am

"That's what Jet said but I would do that for you I would do anything if it would make you happy." I whisper still looking at the ground

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/18/2011, 12:07 am

"I know..." I said I tilted her chin to face me. "I'm lost in darkness without my light with me" I whispered

Subject: Re: Squalls bunk 7/18/2011, 12:09 am

My face turns toward him but I keep my eyes down "I'm lost in nothing without my everything."