Ben puts his things in the trunk under his new bunk

Ben comes in to check on his stuff then walks out

I walk in pissed and lay in my bed.

There was a tentative knock at the door. Anatkah pushed it open and stuck her head in. "Permission to enter?" she said quietly.

" come on in."

Anatkah stepped in and closed the door softly behind her. She walked over and sat in front of him. "You okay?"

" Anatkah, i thought you were like me, i thought you can't stand seeing other people hurt too."

She smiled wryly. "Funny fact," she said. "I can't stand it, but I'm used to it. I also have a way of distancing myself from it... like a shield around my mind. I hate it, hate seeing it and being helpless." Anatkah shrugged slightly. "I just don't know."

" i'm not going to stand for pain, i've tried to make the only one in pain me."

She sighed. "You can't be the only one in pain, Ben. Physically or mentally. It just doesn't work that way..."

" well i can make your pan go away if i tried."

"No." Anatkah shook her head. "I have guilt to add to my burden and Demetrius is something else. And come on," this time a small smile. "What's life without a little risk?"

" i don't want my friends to be in pain, you guys are too good for being in pain, come on let the dirty little orphan take the pain"

This time, Anatkah rose to her feet. "You aren't a 'dirty little orphan'. Got it? You don't have to be alone Ben. We're only human, but that doesn't mean we're weak. Alright? Even if you could..." She gave him a steely look of grim determination, "I doubt we'd let you."

" which is why you are in pain."

"No." Anatkah took a stiff step forward, jabbing him in the chest with a forefinger. "I killed my best friend. That is why I hurt." She blinked hard for a moment and for a second the room blurred before her. Then it refocused. She didn't want to cry now. Gods, sometimes it felt like she'd cried enough in the past year to flood the earth.

" no, its because you won't let me even help you, i understand something happened and i want to help."

Something in her snapped. How on earth was it that he had to have such a parallel personality with Erin's? "Look," she said, trying to keep her voice controlled. "You can't. Not with me." She paused for a second and retreated a step. "I'm sorry."

" well we are back at the same dilemma, you not trusting me."

Anatkah scowled. "Trust has nothing to do with it."

" then why won't you tell me this big thing about Erin, whenever you are mad at me which is all the time you scream your just like Erin, who i know died for something stupid like i will."

ooc: nice by the way if you can't tell my profile picture is Ben Zexion

"It's..." She fumbled for a word, vocabulary deserting her for a moment. "Complicated."

" well complicated doesn't mean impossible does it, i will have to kill myself if this keeps happening."

"If you killed yourself then I'd follow suit," she replied evenly.

" that doesn't matter, the bushido code would make me kill myself, then i would have t get you into Elysium while i go to the eternal punishment place."