you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/1/2014, 10:07 pm

"Probably," I sigh and look at the ground, "Gosh, I'm sorry Vinyl. It's too little to late, I know, but wow...I was so much less than what you deserved. Just know that I know that." I run my fingers through my air and let the smoke pour from the cigarette. I didn't feel much. I was just saying stuff that his point. But I meant it. These we're all things I had said a thousand times in my dreams.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by mabel pines on 6/1/2014, 11:28 pm


vinyl laughs without humor, shaking her head and returning to an upright sitting position. "gods, we're so dysfunctional," she mutters, wrapping her arms around her knees and pulling alexander's jacket around her tighter. damn this. damn it to hell and back.

she can't handle alexander being so nice, not right now when it's late and her defences are down. not right now, when she's so vulnerable, when she wants him to hold her and when she's so tempted to forgive him. vinyl shouldn't feel these things, she's never been the type to feel these things, but then there's alexander and his stupid face and just. gods, what an ass.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/2/2014, 9:03 pm

OOC: That was beautiful. Brb, crying
BIC: There it was. Vinyl, saying what everyone else as too scared to say. But she said it quiet. She said it so that one person could hear. And that person was me. I didn't deserve to be the one to hear her voice. I wanted to put my arm around her. It just felt right, but I knew it was the worst idea I'd had in a long time.  
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by mabel pines on 6/3/2014, 6:51 am


she fingers at the worn leather cord around her neck, rubbing her fingers across her camp beads, a bottle cap from a hot georgia summer day with rhythm, the ring she took from her mom's dresser before calling the police. if she left, they'd be the only things she'd have to bring with her, besides a couple of crumpled bills and a can of pepper spray. and isn't that just so poetic? she's got nothing to her name but a couple of reminders of a home that never felt like home and her hold life. and then, and then, one day she wanted more, right? one day she wanted love and kindness because of a boy and it all turned out so awful, and it's like something you'd read in a sad poem, not in someone's life.

"you're - " vinyl starts, but she cuts herself off. she inhales deeply, closes her eyes tight. exhale. "you're such an ass, you know?"
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/4/2014, 4:41 pm

I smirk lightly and look at her, not turning towards her, just looking. I hear the all the songs I used dedicate to her with my guitar; sitting up in my bunk when it was empty, or out on the beach when I couldn't sleep. Funny she never heard a single one. But the thing was, they weren't sad songs. They weren't deep and tragic, like the beautiful mess this really was. But instead, a lighthearted playfulness loomed over every one. The words so dark and sad, representing the relationship for what it truly was, but the upbeat tune-representing how Vinyl really made me feel. I look at the ground then back at her, "Yeah. Yeah I know." I feel good inside. I guess that was just Vinyl's hooks getting back into my head. Whatever.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by mabel pines on 6/8/2014, 8:32 pm


it's almost irritating, how alexander isn't playing into it and yelling at vinyl. it would be okay if he were a jerk, but he's not. sure, he cheated, but he's so, like, not-jerky right now it almost hurts.

"i wish i could hate you," she says into her knees. "why can't i just hate you?" there's something about the night, about the silence, that just makes her want to be heartbreakingly honest. she's never wanted to be this heartbreakingly honest. maybe it's just alexander.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/8/2014, 8:39 pm

I look at the wind pass through the dark, damp grass, "Don't worry Vinyl," oh that penetration. To say her name again. To her myself say that name, "For what I did to you...I hate myself enough for the both of us. I promise." I look at her. The moonlight made her look better than the sunrise ever did. So few people are so complimented by the dark blanket of night, letting the moon and stars guide the way. And in that moment I knew, out of all the girls I had ever met, Vinyl was the most beautiful. Even in the dark, she was beautiful. Maybe that was just Vinyl.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by mabel pines on 6/9/2014, 9:49 pm


vinyl laughs humorlessly. "that has got to be the most pretentious thing i've heard anyone say, ever," she says to him. gods, alexander is supposed to be a jerk, not nice. he's not supposed to be all sympathetic and sorry. he's supposed to be crude and mean and indifferent to how vinyl feels. who even gave him the right, honestly.

there's a struggle going on in her mind, over whether or not she should look at him. the thing is, she wants to, but her pride would be too wounded if she did. one look can't hurt, but - no, she won't. if she does she'll start to feel even more things, and she can't. that's a weakness. she can't get attached, because when she leaves - and she will leave - she'll, gods forbid, miss him. she's never missed anybody when she's left before, and she's not going to start now.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/9/2014, 9:55 pm

I smirk and look down at the cigarette burning away, the smoke clawing it's way up to the moon. It'd never make it. "Yeah, maybe it is." But then there still was the question; why didn't she hate me? "Vinyl, I deserve to be slapped by you. I deserve for you to take this cigarette and shove it down my throat, burning my insides. Gosh Vinyl, I don't even deserve to be talking to you. God, what are you doing?"
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by mabel pines on 6/9/2014, 10:29 pm


vinyl shrugs, pulls out another cigarette and lights it. "i don't even know," she says.  "making peace with my demons, or something."

and then she laughs because, gods, this is so ridiculous. alexander is ridiculous, and she's ridiculous, and everything is ridiculous. alexander is being pretentious and vinyl still hasn't looked at him, and the urge to do so is burning in a way nothing ever really has before; but she won't. she can't. all this is is making peace with her past so she can move on, and if she looks she won't be able to do that.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/9/2014, 10:36 pm

I look at the ground and put the cigarette in my mouth, taking it out and letting the smoke dance. I sigh. "Demons. Yeah, I guess that's the right words." And that's when I felt it. A huge flame inside me, starting slow, then bursting forth. Burning, burning. Vinyl was talking to me because she wanted peace. She could get me out of the way and move on. And that's when I wished I was like her. Because she could do that. I was too far gone, and it hurt. If I lived a thousand years, I could never, ever taste my sweet redemption. I knew that's what I deserved, but that didn't quench the flame. "You're really brave, you know?"
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by mabel pines on 6/10/2014, 2:08 pm


vinyl's silent for a long time. she's never thought herself particularly brave, or strong, or anything like that. hard, sure. cold, definitely. but she's always been a coward, always been weak. maybe she's gotten tired of it, maybe she's growing up. who even knows, vinyl sure as hell doesn't. maybe alexander's right.

"i don't feel very brave," she says, almost shrinking down on herself. "most of the time i just feel stupid, to be honest."
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/10/2014, 7:33 pm

I laugh, "Vinyl, you're a lot of things. But stupid isn't one of them. I mean, you didn't stay with me, so..." I clear my throat and look the other way. I didn't mean to bring that up, but it was just so hard. It's not like I was thinking about anything else. How cute, she thought I could just forget all about her. And how cute that I did too.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by mabel pines on 6/17/2014, 3:47 pm


of course, trust alexander to go there. of course, he wouldn't have gone there if vinyl hadn't been an idiot and asked for a light. yet again something tied back to vinyl. 'good job, me,' she thinks sarcastically.

she hadn't expected him to be like this; she hadn't expected him to be sorry, and it hurts in a way vinyl never thought something could hurt. kind of this dull ache, almost like a longing. part of vinyl wishes she hadn't found out, that they could just carry on and vinyl could be oblivious.

she heaves out a sigh, says, "gods, you're such a d!ckhead."
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/17/2014, 10:07 pm

"Hey," I say softly, "Did I ever tell you not to state obvious facts?" I sigh and blow out smoke, "There ain't a girl here, in Seattle, or anywhere in between who doesn't know that." I look straight ahead. I feel the fire deep within me. The one Vinyl always brought up. It had gone out and left a dark, damp hole that I affectionately referred to as 'my heart'. It was Vinyl that taught me I didn't have one. But what I felt was not a heartbeat. It was a flame. It started deep within me and rose to my throat. It was the flame of unpredictability, an utter lack of fear, bravery. It was the flame of Vinyl.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by mabel pines on 6/21/2014, 6:09 pm


alexander never did say that, but vinyl doesn't mention it and laughs humorlessly in response. she gets his point: it is obvious that alexander is a d!ckhead.

the thing is, vinyl's got no clue what to say now; whenever she'd planned out meeting alexander again, he wouldn't be so...resigned. he'd be firm in his defense that, no, he was perfectly normal. she doesn't know how to react to him being apologetic and kind and whatever the hell this is. it's unsettling.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/22/2014, 11:02 pm

"...I have to admit," I look towards her, "I thought that when we ran into each other again...there's be more...yelling." It seemed the only solution was to be blatantly honest. But not too honest. And not honest with myself. If I conformed to honesty, who knows what I'd admit to myself.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by mabel pines on 6/27/2014, 4:35 pm


"that makes two of us," vinyl retorts, but it doesn't come out quite as witty as it had in her head. it's probably a good idea for vinyl to leave before she starts telling the truth, before she makes a mistake, which is bound to happen. she's vinyl, of course she'll mess up; it always happens.
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Re: you've seen your face like a heart attack (don't you mind, don't you mind?) {private}

Post by Kat The Reject on 6/28/2014, 11:33 pm

"Well..." I let my hair fall in my eyes as I look down at the ground, "That's one thing we agree on..." I drop my cigarette and stomp it out, "Vinyl, all joking aside," I look up at her, my hair falling back into place, over just one eyes, the way I liked it, "I'm..." I sigh, "Forget it." I knew I'd just screw it up, just like I did everything when it came to Vinyl. Anything I said now would just make her hurt more, and I couldn't have that. It would be better if I conformed to silence.
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