Dylan Newton (Remake)

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Dylan Newton (Remake)

Post by The Elven Hunter on 6/11/2015, 3:07 pm

Name: Dylan Newton

Gender: Male

Mortal Parent: Anna Newton. His mother worked at a place called Mentor Kids, a Christian organization. She has brown hair that is to her shoulders. With hazel eyes. She is very loving and caring. She loves him very much. She loves to swim which is why his father was drawn to her.

God Parent: Triton prince of the seas and messenger of the water gods

Date of Birth: July 11, 2001

Place of Birth: Decatur, Alabama

Hometown/Last Residence: Long Island, New York

Race/ethnicity: American (white)

Accent: He has a very southern accent but uses a lot of slang (example he would say "He ain't got no class."

Skin Tone: His skin tone is white but since he is outside all the time it has become tan.

Eye Color: Hazel (green and brown)

Hair Color: black

Hair Length: An inch to two on the sides about about three inches on the top. He combs it to the right on top. Sometimes he will spike it up.

Height: 5'7

Weight: 132.5

Body Type: He is a ectomorph (classic hardgainer) and his bodyweight 132.5lbs. He is nicly built but he is a ectomorph because he has some fat. He has some strong legs and arms because he swims. Yet, his weight is mostly because of his fat.

Appearance: Dylan looks like he plays football, but he doesn't. He has a scar under his left eye (you will read why in LBC). He has big eyes with big ears. He has a normal size nose. By normal size nose I mean it isn't large or very small. His hazel eyes look piercing when he looks at you mad. He has tan skin. His skin was white but then it became tan by the sun. Except for his thighs they are white. His thighs are white because he always wears shorts when he swims so they never get tanned.  His hair is always flat it never sticks up unless he forgot to brush it. His hair is a very dark black. His hair is two inches long on the side and three inches thick on the top. He also has bushy eye brows. His eye brows are black. The are very thick. He never gets them pluck or waxed. You can find him wearing athletic shorts and a regular t-shirt or blue jeans and a shirt.

Weapon: a trident that is celestial bronze with ocean blue duck tape he put on it for better grip he named it Blue, a conch shell like his father to strike fear into his enemies he names Coach for short, also a regular celestial bronze sword he calls Ocean because under water it looks blue like the ocean, and finally water.

Armor: He has a leather chest plate

Pet(s): a gold fish named Bronze because he looks more bronze that gold

Skills/Talents: Dylan is an excellent swimmer both fast and strong. He prefers the breast stroke because that's what he was trained in first. He is a great fighter because he took Karate. What I mean by skilled fighter is he is great at defense. But he is skilled in offense because of his training at camp. He has his second degree black belt in Karate also so he is very skilled in it. He is a skilled sword fighter. He is a very strong fighter with a trident also.

Flaws:  First off he gets mad easily. He has bushy eye brows. He also has big ears. He thinks these two are flaws (eye brows and ears) because he feels like people will make fun of him so he considers them as a flaw to himself. He zones out a lot. He speaks what's on his mind and he has a big mouth. He is also argues a lot. He is also very honest. If you want the truth he will give it to you whether you like it or not. He is insecure about his body weight. Yes he is mostly muscle but he has fat so he feels like he will be made fun of that also.

Strengths: He is a strong swimmer. He is also a great reader and a fast one. He also has a strength of Karate. Making friends is also a strength of his.

Weaknesses: He has a weakness of doing math. He also has a weakness of paying attention. He loves to zone out.

Likes: He loves to read. He likes root beer and Dr. Pepper. He also like the water. His favorite books are fantasy and fiction. Like Hunger Games, Divergent, and he also likes comics. He like comics about the X-Men. He likes music also. He like the modern days signers. Like Taylor Swift and Blake Shelton. So he is a big fan of country. He also likes Christian music. His favorites there are Toby Mac, and Third Day. He also likes baseball. He plays catcher, first, third, and out field.

Dislikes: He doesn't like vegetables. He also doesn't like apples. He thinks both are gross. He also doesn't like snakes. He doesn't like hard rock music it is to loud for him. He also doesn't like Coke products.

Fears: Dylan has a fear of heights because of Zeus. He is very scared of Zeus's power. He isn't scared so much of his powers more of his strength. If Zeus wanted to he could throw him out of the sky. That is what scares him. He also is scared of spiders. He things they are disgusting. He only dislikes them because they are creepy.

Personality: Dylan is generally an easy going guy. But it comes to a point. He speaks his mind and he has a huge mouth. He gets in arguments a lot. The main reason why he gets in arguments is because he doesn't take no for something he rally wants. He calms down from and argument by talking to some of his friends about it. (Especially a person named Josh xD) He does hold back with his anger sometimes if it pushes his buttons to much. He is honest with you whether you want it or not.

Now the good side of him.

He is very brave, he will charge to battle with nothing but a dagger for his friends or family. He is very protective over his friends and family also. When he isn't arguing he is a very nice and chill guy. He also is very popular. He likes to be with other people. He also lays down the law. He is great with new people. He loves to meet them and talk to them and get to know them.

What his friends think of him.

Others think of him as a chill dude with anger issues. They know what will make him snap. They see him as a very happy easy going normal guy. They think he is very calm to. They think he doesn't just blow up on someone for no reason.

Abilities:

He can breathe underwater.

He can speak to sea creatures.

He can know the temperature of the water when he touches it.

Powers:

Hydrokinesis: He can cause movement, example: he can move 30 gallons of water to distances up to 10 feet of any kind of water,  (3 post with cool down of 5)

Can use the water waves while swimming to boost his speed from 5 mph to 20 mph and can extend it to 25 mph but it can nearly kill him by going 25 (3 post with cool down of 13)

Atmokinesis: They can create small hurricanes to attack others or they can use it for defense. (4 post with cool down if 7) (it only goes to a 2 foot radius) his hurricanes can make his enemies fall and dis arm them if they get to close. The wind speed of his hurricanes can be from 5 MPH to 25 MPH to knock their sword out of their hands. He can increase it to 75 MPH to knock someone down. (He can only go to 75 MPH once a thread!)

Social Status: Dylan is very popular due to his personality. A lot of people respect him because he lays down the rules. He is also known as a geek becuase he likes to read.

Summer or Year Rounder: year rounder

Years at Camp: 2

Life Before Camp:

His father and his mother met at a public pool. He as instantly in love when his father noticed how great of a swimmer she was. She was compelled to him also. She described him as "the most beautiful creature I have ever seen." She was sad when he eventually left.

Now his history.

Dylan was three when he got his scar. He was a child and did something a child would do. He saw a brick post like those of a house. He was going to be brave and climb it. He went to grab the top one and it fell and cut him under his eye.that is how he got his scar.

He was always popular in school. He loved school. He was picked on by some but he never let that get him down. People would pick on him by calling him fat and things like that. They also called him a geek because he likes to read. He went to church all of his life so he was a Christian. He loved church. His mother grew up in church so she thought he should also. He was about 4 when he realized his father wasn't there. He always had wondered why. His mother never talked about it. They lived a normal life as possible. He had played baseball since he was able to. This is why he is muscular. But also he is muscular because he and his mother worked out every week end and he got stronger and stronger. They worked out at their house.

When he was five he started swimming lessons. He started with the breast stroke. He grew on his skills with lessons. He did lessons till he was 12 and then he learned everything he could so his mother had him stop.

He was seven when he discovered his powers. He was at home and he got mad at his mother like kids do and he through his hand at her. The sink was on so the water obeyed him and hit her in the face. She looked shocked. He felt scared. His mother had him hide it by staying away from water. After that his mother never talked about his powers again. He always wondered why she never did. He thought she would try to train him but she didn't.

When he was 12 his aunt had died. She had cancer for about 2 years. She finally had let go of this world and had passed on to the next. He was at home when he and his mother got the word. They both were heart broken. He cried for months on and off. He still misses her.

One day his mother came to his and she explained that his father was a god and he need to go to a place called Camp Half Blood. He believed his mother with no problem. He knew when she lied and when she didn't. So he knew she wasn't lying. He was 13 at the time. He let his mom take him to camp. When they went he started realizing that he would miss baseball and his friends. When he got to camp he was welcomed and he eventually loved it.

Role-playing Example: As he swam through the water at the beach in camp he saw all sorts of fish stopping to have conversations with them. When he saw something weird in the water he used the waves to give him a boost on swimming and swam to the shore and ran. As he ran he looked back and saw there was nothing in the water. When he turned around he grabbed Blue off his back and hit the thing in front of him realizing it was a satyr he knew named Joe. After that he never spoke to the Joe again.

Notes: He loves to play baseball. He also is in track. He is a shot and disc thrower. Even though his dad is a sea god he hates the beach. (he hates the sand not the water weird.)

New Word count: 2010


Last edited by The Elven Hunter on 6/11/2015, 5:38 pm; edited 4 times in total
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Re: Dylan Newton (Remake)

Post by Josh on 6/11/2015, 3:50 pm

Okay, so, since I'm helping you here, I'm going to suggest what else you could to do develop rather than just the simply approval process.

Mortal Parent: Anna Newton
Talk about his mother's history. Who is she? What did she do for a living? You've given a little bit of information in the LBC, but, you could develop it further, maybe a little bit about what she herself looks like, not in as much detail, just little things that made her stand out to Triton.


Skin Tone: His skin tone is tan. It is tan because he is outside a whole lot.
I'd reword this a bit, more like "He has a white skin tone, but because he is outside a lot, he is tanned." The wording there isn't so nice to read currently.

Body type -
Try having a read of this https://www.muscleandstrength.com/articles/body-types-ectomorph-mesomorph-endomorph.html
You could add a bit more along these lines of what his body type is like. If you don't understand that link, don't worry about it, it's just going further. But, if he is a strong swimmer, he is going to have strong legs too, swimming will build up these muscles too.

Appearance -
His fingers and toes are normal length
I don't think this bit is so necessary, what is normal length, etc?
You could add more to this section possibly though, just describe the body more, give more details. Think about how you imagine him, and then write down as much detail as you. Maybe not every tiny detail like exact lengths, but just bring it out a bit more. Its a good start though, he's taking shape.

Weapon -
and finally water also his 5 celestial bronze daggers on his legs with his strap for them, Water
Read this, it doesn't make that much sense.

Armor -
Those leggings are really going to slow him down. Metal armor is going to weight him down a lot, just make sure you're aware of that.

Skills/Talents -
What strokes does he prefer? Are there some strokes he's weaker at than others?
Karate doesn't necessarily make you a good fighter, yes it's got some good strikes, but in a general fight, unless you fighting someone else using Karate, it isn't always so effective. Judo is quite good however, or Muay Thai, Kickboxing, etc. But all of these disciplines aren't always the best. Just doing a form of martial arts doesn't necessarily make you a good fighter. As well as that, how long has he been training at it? What belt is he? Etc.

Flaws -
Why are the bushy eye brows and big ears a flaw? Are these things he perceives himself to be his own flaws, you should put that in. What are his insecurities about himself? You could put those as flaws he sees in himself, and then things you as a separate person would see as flaws in him.

Strengths - Surely martial arts could go here? Or is there anything else? If he's popular, surely making friends is a strength of his too.

Weaknesses -
With him being such a strong swimmer, I doubt running is a weakness of his. He may be better at swimming, but you'd need to say why running was a weakness, in my opinion, I'd suggest opting for something else. Like is he bad at maths, or something like that. Those can be weaknesses as well.

I feel these two categories you could develop and add more.

Likes-
What other past times does he like? What are his favourite books? Does he listen to music? If so, what are his favourite bands, or favourite genre?

Dislikes-
The opposite of above, what else doesn't he like? Are there certain types of people he doesn't like? Any styles of music he doesn't like? And so on.

Fears-
Why is he afraid of Zeus' power? Is there any other reason he dislikes spiders, or just they're creepy?

Personality-
Again, incorporate some of the strengths and likes here. What is he like with new people? What does he do to calm down from an argument? Are there times he holds back? Think about your own personality, or someone elses, give as much detail as you can and think about how you would describe that so someone would see entirely what you mean.

Powers-
I'm going to say no to the Fear inducement. It's not related to Triton, and just because he has the conch doesn't mean it gives him the power, sorry.

History-
You could add so much here. Any significant times in his life? His relation with other family members. Did he have any problems growing up? Some more detail on the bullying he suffered. Was there a reason his mother raised him as a Christian, despite knowing the truth about Greek gods? You haven't mentioned baseball before, this could be a like, or even potentially a strength. Where did they work out? At home? Did his mother send him for swimming lessons? When did he realise his powers? And what did he do to hide them? What did his mother say about the powers and so on?
How did he react to being told the truth about his dad? Did he believe it instantly?

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Re: Dylan Newton (Remake)

Post by The Elven Hunter on 6/11/2015, 4:51 pm

Okay I think that got it.

Edited.
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Re: Dylan Newton (Remake)

Post by Josh on 6/11/2015, 5:24 pm


Weight: 175

Body Type: He is a ectomorph (classic hardgainer) and his bodyweight 132.5lbs. He is nicly built but he is a ectomorph because he has some fat. He has some strong legs and arms because he swims. Yet, his weight is mostly because of his fat.


You've got these two differing, you may want to adjust this.

Josh
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Darius O'Shea - Tyche - 17
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Re: Dylan Newton (Remake)

Post by The Elven Hunter on 6/11/2015, 5:25 pm

Oops xD

Anything else?

Edited

I want to get him where I can atleast get 2,000 drachmas reward. So how can I get there?
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